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Monday, September 28, 2009

O' Bird Where Will U Fly


O' bird where will u fly??
The day you breathed first to the day you die
The world lives through you, the world is thy
To the fancy parallel world of rain
For the land is dry, the sun insane
Fruity trees,a flowery monsoon delight
The grass is green at an hourly flight
Traversing rounds of distant inching miles
Fobbed to the mirage of smiling smiles
The food the water the air is rife
The canvas old, a new shade of life
For the love of yours the mate of soul
To the predestined your ethereal goal
To the spirited light or to the silent cry
Resolve to which u will die??
For the peace of heart in heart does lie
O' bird where will u fly??

Friday, September 25, 2009

DARRRR KE AAGEY JEET HAI!!!



In this era of mechanisation, one thing that still makes Us superior to the metal beings (bots) is The Human Emotion Stuff..and the strongest among these emotions is FEAR..FEAR ( Fucked Experiencing Act Response)...Thru d tongue of science its d release of some bloody chemicals...which turns heart into a leaping toad, lungs into convulsive maniacs, body skin into a Bisleri plant, over and above a 'fatt gyi' feeling. This natural instinct was probably set by god to promote our survival ..or we would b frens with dinasaurs and their existing relatives..OR... for its own survival.. for d devils, demons, satans wouldn bother humans enough to have angels!!

Dr. Weiss in his famous book- 'Many Lives Many Masters' expresses FEAR as imprints of mishaps in earlier lives of a soul...claiming authenticity to which Sharukh Khan found himself pyrophobic in a bollywood flick 'Om Shanti Om'...bt among the list of hundreds of phobias...many are just ridiculous enough to support the above theory... Lets have look on some of these-


  • CATaFORMaphobia-- well this is just a new phobia developed days back...a phobia of CAT forms...its about losing all ur senses at once and panicking for nothing...victims to this are cat aspirants...very strange responses are seen...notification of the cat forms in itself brought it to surface..a friend of mine who was preparing for the exam for atleast one yr comes totally flabbergasted, nervous, excited, dreaded,dumbfounded, high on her heels with her eyeballs struggling with her eye sockets and her both hands faning above her chest ..to make the divine revelation to her friends—'CAT kaaaaaaa formmmmmm reliiiiizzzze ho gya!!!!!'...haan toh theek hai madam...nahi hona tha kya?? ...this is wat u r preparing for..haina??? Just transformation of PBT format to CBT format gives shivers n shudders to future Indian managers nationwide...axis bank branches are like ration shops in drought hit areas...(Link) stampede, violence, tamaasha was all there for the fear of missing hot slots...first iims lacking a vision of the probable problems then comes media..to add to this, papers nationwide daily hitting panic- ‘Jara Si Asaavdhani Aurr...(arrey dimaag mt laga..wo nhi....ipill ki adv ni thi) 1400 rupaye paani mein....(cat vouchers for 1400/-) ....an error at click bars ur way to iims...amidst this some budhijeevs come up racking their brains to master the iims...with thoughts of multiple attendance buying different vouchers and applying for the best...others find a fear in that also to lose ranks to such crooks...are v all so dumb?? Or do v think iims wd present themselves before us as jumbo packs of stupidity...kya bhgwan! inko kuchh akal to de deta!!
  • KoKophobia- this is a conditioned phobia that dates generations back...victims are small children...evn I was wen I was a kid..Koko is something invisible, omnipresent, demonic and the sole reason for its existence is to take away our dear things...our toys, chocolates, candies, mama papa's personals(read- makeup items,mobile phones)..rather anything my mamma warned me not to play with was soon taken by koko... and This Koko doesn’t evn mind taking u too... if u don finish ur milk bottle in time, don like green veggies, don knw how to behave..and all... yaar koi koko ko le jaao..
  • Catagelophobia - a ridiculous phobia...a phobia of being called a pyjama or dhakkan..may god bless its victims with an elastic/ container... whatever..
  • Coprastasophobia- This is a temporary phobia...victim could b anybody subjected to previous night circumstances...m recollecting a sms joke..santa went to a party and stuffed himself with no. of naans...nxt day sittin in loo and praying--- rabba!! Ya toh naan nikal de, ya toh jaan nikal de... :) so now its quite identifiable..haina!!..its d fear of constipation :)
  • Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone...this is a phobia thats rather losing its grip on people these days and some who have totally overpowered this fear are Mallika Sherawat, Kate winslet, madam Jolie....many youngsters don knw much of their own bodies then they do of Kate’s...( extending on this may put some of u low on comfort..so I end up here..)
  • Bathophobia ( a revised ablutophobia) – this phobia preys on hostellers especially boys...a hectic schedule, late night assignments (i hate this engineering), early classes leaving hardly any time for shower, ultra clean washrooms, never ending water supply and not to forget sexy DEOs help u a lot to identify with this fear...
  • Femophobia- ohh so u r a man of adventure.....speeding, bunjee jumping , roller costers, diving don’t increase ur pulse count...bt approaching a gal for date without wrecking ur nerves and those anxiety attacks is some thing next to impossible...i wish gals were a bit more sweeter n not such horror shows..
  • Oilophobia- a side branch of obesophobia...how many a time hav u thought of a girl for a snack time...bt to ur utter surprise u r hit by..‘ My god!! Kitna oiiiiiil hai’...this phobia is as rampant as ‘shaitan ki aant’...n if that oil by some miracle find way to their under throat...u cant escape that ‘mein motti lg rhi hu’ expression on their face every ten mins...
  • Bewajhafaltuphobia-- this phobia is seen in aged aunties and grannies..some mild convulsions of their eyes or hands or legs or anything they hav a got a list of ...excites their creative nerve and they are in imaginations and anticipations of ‘kuchh buraa hone wala hai’...and they are panicking like hell...and no... nothing wd ever pacify the matter, could ,rather,worsen if u tried to b smart bt ur full agreement, acceptance and followin the need of hour...
  • Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666- if u happen to b hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic I suggest u not to look at address bar of this blog or just get lost before u get those anxiety attacks...
Wonder if this fear disappears totally..the world will take a totally differnt shade.....
9/11, 26/11 wont b any spcl dates...... ghosts, atmaas, chudails, saayas will die another death....
.....polymers -'d be put them to better use then just to make contraceptives........gabbar wont serve the sleeping pill tool by mothers....amusement parks with roller costers, ferris wheels deserted......kabristans wd serve cricket grounds for children......producers of draculas n mummys will starve to death.....adrenaline glands will turn vestigial organs...... bullying bosses will come up with humble requests( read- folded hands).....jyotishis n babas wd pack up their bags.......no more stunt manias, jungle se bachao fuss, fear factor drama.....bodyguards displaced by butiful female escorts......interviews ohh just kidding time... bungee jumping, rock climbing wont b anymore adventures......mountain dew wd need a new tagline..lock ups serving as sasuraals... chooha and billi lovers n soon either wd suffer extinction...death toll for humans wd b on all time high...Important thing is to some extent it is a necessity for survival... BUTT

Darrr ki 'Bhains Ki Taang' or 'Maa Ki Aankh' (d one u r more comfrtable with)...
.........Get a sip of Mountain Dew ...Darr Ke Aagey Jeet Hai !!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

8 P's a day

Eight in morn to eve's five,
With their spirits hardly alive,
When nothing to do but to cram,
Puke that crap and drive the sham,
Attending classes to shout that aye,
Weekend goes comes again Monday,
Just to gather 8 P's a day...


Toiling thru' d gloomy nights,
Hopin for the day of lights,
Couldn it b to a sensible extent,
If not much, abridge limit percent,
Dreary n bleary of that quotidian blase,
Here comes time for proxy kings to play,
Just to gather 8 p's a day....


When their cherished faith does shatter,
Quality over quantity doesn matter,
When profs do lose their cool,
Shortening lectures turns their tool,
Tormented souls they do inveigh,
Awakening call for someone to allay,
Elude us gathering 8 P's a day....

-krazy idiot

YAADAN...


Kinve pullanvan sohni
saanjey kitte din sanjiyaan raataan

ohna ajj taras di eh ruh
akhaan vagdiyan barsataan

noor chadeya din julfaan rang hanera
kadon gya ujjad oh supneyan da basera


cheteyon kinve jaave ohh rausa te manauna
jedi jaade baldi aagg jeda mee vich nahauna


gunjey chanjri chhanak sohni pabb tere kikli
tootan de toot kadey pingan wali pipli

labbnn kadey akhaan mehndi tere hath di
kajrari akhaan sohni teri cheteyon ni lathh di

mehak teri le ke wagdiyaan hawawaan
sinne kitte lagg ja ujdiyan ne baanwaan

haakan kadey sun sooni kandaan de banney
lukk lukk chuppey ohh khetan de ganney

pullan das kinve tere lakk de hulaare
kinve pul jaanvan ohh rangley nazaarey

kithey ho gye hawa ghar tere raet de
sukk gyi ganderiyan ganney apne khet de

kikran da aula kadey baariyan chon takkna
kadon lavey jaan nitt jehar pave fakkna

chhoo kadon ik wari thandi kalejey mere aagg
karey kinve rabba das jismon ruhan nu alagg

ulama tere rabb nu, keda kitta si gunah
naer mere jagg ch kitte vkhaja meinu raah

aapo das kinve mein tetho vanjon rakhan
aja mud sohni raah takk diyan ne akhaan


mud kadey vekh meri rang de muraadan
pullan as kinve khaeda chhad di ni yaadan...



krazy idiot

Prying is our birth right!!!

Prying is something v humans are so obsessed with n so deeply imbibed in our psyches that v cant part with it; no matter how hard we try...more often than not, it turns so ecstatic for some people that puttin a limit to it is d last thing in their mind...nooo u don have to poke ur lil heads or google ways to meddle into ur frens affairs..juss let ur instincts free to put u right there n discover that nosey parker human gene of urs working wonders…

As our comfort zone is so much entangled with everybody else like the universal soul running in all matter… u hav surely justified reasons for presenting me with those questions like Do u have a girlfriend? If yes, who she is? Our relationship history ?? and to my dumb surprise, if its @ll timepass or senti senti??…afterall its u whoz to bother all ma wedding arrangements…haina!! and ifffff I say no .., my god, m literally doomed…I hav to face those inquisitive eyes and that befuddled face and that satirical smile..and not to forget those constant regular reminders for updations on the issue..okkkk I do understand that ur concern for me makes u much uncomfortable over my singleship status even more than I am ..Buttt it really gets on my nerves..i mean no matter who u r…mera bicchhda bachpan ka dost jo aj hi mujhe orkut pr mil gya...mera coll ka friend..mere mohalley ka chaddi yar…mera cousin…a newly made friend...whosoever ...dis is something I cant elude for sure...

No wonder... there are other manisfestations or avtars also of this basic human need...Just days back I discovered my ankle fractured in a road accident...packing me with plaster n all to bed for weeks....believe me, nothing can make u feel lighter n better but ur friends concern and their warm wishes..well questions of hows and whats are pretty obvious n welcum... bt simple resuming answers wont humour their whims...u are to scratch the last nerve in ur mind to come out with all the minute details of ur adventure.. d exact location, ur clash angle, instantenous velocities, ur helmet status, the purpose u were out with your bike...better if u can enact the whole scene, with one of ur frens bending into a bike..the other into the person u clashed with.., aftrall they they need to understand ur pain in a bettr way..haina...thank god none of my frens was currently into +1 mechanics or I’d be answering-- if collision was head on ..if the momemtum was conserved...trajectory I followed after bang to keep our centre of mass in accordance with Newton..and so on...

Achha toh u believe that every coin has two sides...or ...wo wala k every cloud has a silver lining..hmm so must b wondering 4 its gud effects....okkk...dis is d most nutritious..cheapest and tasty food for d otherwise starving media...after all v want complete record around d clock b it Bachchan's family..d moment they walk, d moment they talk, d moment they attend to the CALL OF NATURE... or b it d Talwars...where d entire nation was troopin in with their detective cells workin at their best..so was d rakhi 's drama exploiting our senses...and wait their comes a more decent way to serve this basic need of ours in form of bigboss season 3...

I think v need to give some break to our overworked nosey parker cells...haina???

krazy idiot

Hi

hello everyone!!
This is vishal...m new to blogosphere...thanks to my friend Ekam for being the inspiration to write and her suggestions for making this blog...for my blog readers, i hope u like it...if u do, do put some positive feedback.. and if u don, feel free to put ur all day frustration here...lol..

thanks a lot
vishal